1) How does what Brown shared relate to you in your professional life as an artist and designer? Provide details.
What Brown has mentioned in her talks relate to my professional life as a artist is when she talks about shame and how we must accept ourselves to be seen. How she talks about shame is how we all wish we were rich enough, smart enough, and pretty enough. I would always feel bad about myself when looking at myself in the mirror and seeing that I have some flaws in my body shape with not being skinny and beautiful as the other girls who has a boyfriend in their arms. But listening to Brown talk about how we learn to accept our flaws and appreciate them, reminds me that there is nothing wrong with me and people will have to accept me for who I am and what I do.
2) Brown talks about the price of invulnerability...what does she mean by NOT being vulnerable? What does vulnerability look like to you?
What vulnerability looks like to me is the fear for people saying something hurtful to my work and me. I feel that I’m always fearing the worst with my work, that I’m not making it as far as my friends who I can tell by looking at their work, they are going to make a name for themselves. For me, I feel like I’m going backwards, but I don’t give up. I keep trying to be more creative with everything that I do. So I let myself be open to creativity and open to new ideas. So while my vulnerability is half fear, the other half is the willingness to continue forward and the benefits of critique. When Brown means by Not being vulnerable, she means that doing something with no guarantees. She thinks of vulnerability as betrayal. It is the core of shame and fear.
3) How has courage been a theme in your college experience?
For me the biggest courage is being far away from home. I’ve always been surround by family for as along as I can remember, and I have never done those sleep way camps. So going to college being detached from my family took a lot of courage, but in my heart I knew that I had to take this path in my life and discovering things on my own. True, I felt homesick for the beginning of my freshman year, but after completing a whole year on my own, I felt really good about my self and that I can handle things on my own. This was also an experience of learning how to handle things on my own, in other words learning to become an adult as well as an artist.
Another part of my courage is going into a classroom and dealing with some teachers and their harsh and hurtful words. Words that have brought tears ruining down my face from the words that the teacher has said to me “You are a junior and your work should be better than this, I don’t see your work going anywhere”. Those words hit me hard in my heart and the pain and sadness it brought to me almost made me believe those words, and wonder why Ringling College of Art & Design has chosen me to come to such a well known school. I almost thought of giving up on my dreams, but I found the courage my family and friends to wipe away my tears and to continue forward. I also like to believe that is was from talking to my older brother Dean on the phone and listening to him say that he is so proud of me and all the things I have done, even things that he never did in college. He also tells me that he see’s the growth in my art and in myself. When we were kids, we weren’t that close in sibling (we had our sibling fights, but we never had anything in common or did anything together as much), but now that we are older and hearing him say those words to me, I felt courage and life brought back into me once again and I’m so lucky to have a great brother that will always look after me.
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